What To Do About the Self Doubt Demons

I had a somewhat challenging weekend. You ever feel like the rug was pulled

doubtout from under you? Yeah, it was like that. My back was aching, I felt lethargic, had no energy to exercise, relationship difficulties, the number in the bank account was low, blah, blah blah… And that nasty voice inside my head got really LOUD. She started practically screaming the words “You can’t!”, “It won’t work!” “It will always be like this!” and “You don’t really think you deserve better, do you?!” She was so loud that I had a really hard time differentiating between her and the sweet, loving voice inside who speaks the truth. I know you know what I’m talking about because we all deal with the mean monster in our heads.

The way I felt this past weekend reminded me of my drinking days. The mornings when I would wake up, instantly hate myself and then slide down the shame spiral throughout the day until I ended up, well, back at the bar. I was the queen of beating myself up. Doubt was practically a way of life for me back then… until I realized it was no way to live at all.

Fortunately for the past decade, I’ve learned many magical tools to deal with the self doubt demons, none of which require downing a bottle of wine. I’ve been on this wonderful journey of cultivating genuine love for myself. I’ve moved through so much darkness and discovered such amazing strength and courage within. And I’ve experienced so much joy as result of finally seeing and feeling that light inside me. But I’m certainly not perfect… and sometimes that old me tries to swoop in, stomp out that sweet flame and sabotage the whole new system. So that’s what this past weekend was about. Egomania in full effect.

When you’re experiencing such a low vibration, however, the Universe will always give you a nice wake-up call to bring you back to the truth. Mine came in the form of a message from a new friend – someone who I’ve known only a short time but admires me a great deal. He said, “It’s interesting to me, Michelle, that you’re such a cheerleader and uplifter for others and yet you kinda seem like you’ve been your own little black cloud lately.” Truth bomb straight to the heart of the matter. I have not been walking my talk. Part of me wanted to be more upset as I heard these words but damn, he was so right.

When the lightbulb finally turned back on, I immediately got back into action, which started with reaching for those better-feeling thoughts. Abraham-Hicks, the ultimate teacher of the Law of Attraction, does a wonderful job at explaining how every moment is a new beginning. We can soothe ourselves into a better feeling place in a matter of moments… and it all starts with telling a new story in our minds.

Here are just a few steps you can take the next time you feel like you’re caught in the downward spiral of doubt.

1) Recognize that the mean voice inside your head is not you. The indicator that the Meanie is running her mouth is that you will feel shameful, guilty, and upset. Once you identify her, stop and take a breath. Tell her thanks but no thanks, you’re not picking up what she’s putting down. Your true inner voice always speaks with love and you will feel good!

2) Get back to grat(itude). No matter how horrible your life seems in the moments that fear is taking hold, it’s just plain not. If you’re alive, you most likely have much to be grateful for. If your list of good isn’t too long right off the bat, that’s ok. Start simple. You can surely be grateful to have a home, food to eat, and perhaps a friend to call. I guarantee that once you start loving those seemingly small things, the momentum of appreciation will pick up quickly!

3) Redefine success. Remind yourself of all that you have accomplished in your life. These days it’s often easy to get caught up in compare-and-despair syndrome. We think that if we don’t own a home or aren’t married by a certain age or aren’t making 6 figs that we’re complete losers. Who says?? So define success for yourself based on all that you’ve done (and do)! The bonus tip to this is to celebrate the successes of others. Be happy for them as well as yourself. We are one.

4) Have faith. As Abraham teaches, the Universe can’t get your back if you don’t let it. Faith is the essential ingredient. Sometimes we forget! The whole reason I wrote this post is because I lost my faith (for a hot sec)! Thank goodness it was brief and I’m back in the trust zone once again.

Today I pray for us all to believe in ourselves. We are such powerful, magical little beings. May we recognize the light within ourselves and each other. Namaste.

“You’ll see it when you believe it.”  – Dr. Wayne Dyer