Three years today! Sober “birthdays” are a time of deep reflection for me. They may even be more significant than actual birthdays because for those of us who have experienced living in the dark hole of alcohol addiction- which is really no way to live- being sober is truly a celebration of life. As I look back on my life and all of the events that have happened up until today- the beautiful and the ugly- I know that all has happened for me. I have absolutely no regrets and am extremely proud of myself and my accomplishments. I’d love to share some highlights of the past year with you.
I have experienced more growth and success than ever. August 1, 2014, shortly after I made my way back to the west coast from NYC, I moved into my quaint little Midtown Sacramento studio. At 37, this is the first time I’ve ever lived alone. This little apartment has turned out to be my healing sanctuary. I’ve cherished being able to spend so much time with myself. I meditate and pray each morning, practice yoga, cook myself healthy food in my tiny kitchen, coach and treat my clients in this space, and dance like a maniac when it’s necessary to raise the vibe a little higher.
Being single, I’ll admit that sometimes the winter nights got lonely but I let myself feel all the feels and cry and kick and scream and write. Pain is inevitable but dang, I am so glad I let myself feel it rather than escape it like I used to. The negative emotions always pass and I feel refreshed after I let myself express them. It’s been a blessing to have this time and space alone in order to release many old emotional patterns that no longer serve me.
I took some big steps in my career. A main focus of my work as a wellness coach is to help people who have experienced similar challenges as me, so I pushed myself to get out there and become more visible to the people who need me most. As a result, I have been attracting the most wonderful clients who are ready and willing to address their health concerns/addictions and perhaps even try out sobriety for the first time. It is an honor to hold space for such courageous women and witness their transformations.
I rewrote my money story! This one is huge. As an entrepreneur, you must have the right mindset when it comes to cash. You have to know your worth, believe that you deserve, be open to receiving and trust that it will all work out. In January, I left a part-time job that no longer felt aligned with my lifestyle. I took a leap of faith and set out completely on my own. By giving the Universe a very clear signal that I desire to make money solely from my business, I’ve had great results. I am now living my dream- working for myself, doing what I love, traveling and feeling free!
The area of love has been complicated, sigh, but I feel compelled to share. In Springtime, I met a special someone who I believe to be my soulmate. We were ecstatic when we first met. I felt a comfortable familiarity with him, and intense chemistry. He excites me and pushes all my buttons. He brings out the best in me and the worst in me. (Apparently soulmates have a knack for shining light on all those dark places that still need healing). I’ve learned so much from him and have made many positive changes within myself because of his presence. For whatever reason, we’re sadly not together now. My heart aches, but a major thing I have learned through sobriety is the grace of letting go. I trust that God knows a wonderful love for me. In the meantime, I continue to love him, myself, and feel/receive the love from all my beautiful people.
Now in midsummer, I celebrate three years of not drinking alcohol (nor doing drugs, nor smoking cigs). I feel really great, yet humble and grounded. I feel connected to myself, my purpose, and God. I’m so grateful, excited, and faithful.
As always, I pray for the healing of those who still suffer. May my life contribute in some way to their health and happiness.