The night of February 20, 2005, I went out with a bang…
Yep, I banged myself up pretty darn good by tumbling down a flight of stairs that night in a drunken blackout. Blackout drinking was all too familiar in my life at the time, but that night was exceptional… I quite possibly could have become a member of the 27 Club. I woke the next morning, battered and bruised, physically and emotionally, and finally decided that enough was enough.
I struggled with alcohol since I picked up my first drink at age 16. It immediately became my favorite escape and stayed with me for more than a decade to come.
I drank for reasons that most young people do – to have fun, to be daring and adventurous, to feel glamorous, to overcome my shyness and connect with people. So many fun adventures involved alcohol (and drugs). I danced my ass off on ecstasy at NorCal raves in the 90’s, wined and dined through the San Francisco restaurant industry in my 20’s, travelled to Italy and sipped on Limoncello, and had so many debaucherous, crazy, amazing cocaine-induced nights of dancing in the city.
However, I tortured myself with hangovers, sleepless nights, poor choices, meaningless or broken intimate relationships, self-loathing, shame, guilt, anxiety, and depression.
Undoubtedly, divine intervention occurred as a result of that fall. Looking back, I see it as a huge neon sign from the Universe that said STOP. The next day I attended my first 12-Step recovery meeting saying to myself “How in the F did I end up here?”… I seriously felt like such a failure… It took me a while to understand the inherent danger of alcoholism.
Sobriety is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever achieved and also the best. The beginning stages of addiction recovery were not easy at all. The band-aid had been ripped off and I was more depressed than ever. I remember crying myself to sleep almost every night for months in extreme emotional pain. I realized how much I had betrayed myself and was so regretful.
Despite the challenges, I kept showing up for my recovery. I continued to attend 12-Step meetings, started building supportive relationships, received acupuncture treatments, began to eat more healthful foods, and started to practice yoga. The process was slow, but a very tiny voice inside of me encouraged the message that I had the ability to heal myself.
Thus began my healing journey.
Over the past 12 years, it has taken a couple of meanderings in and out and back into sobriety before leading me to the life I live now – alcohol-free, healthy, and abundant in opportunity, prosperity, connection and love.
Today I feel energized, content, and a wonderful sense of freedom.
- I make only supportive, meaningful connections now – with friends, colleagues, clients and romantic partners.
- I’m able to cope with stress in much more manageable ways than I did when I was drinking.
- I’ve developed a consistent spiritual practice which helps to guide me each day from a place of truth and trust.
- I wholeheartedly love and accept myself.
- I enjoy so much about life because I’m simply able to be more present for it, relishing in small gratitudes which create fulfillment.
The best gift I’ve received from my path is the inspiration to share this journey with you!
If you are ready to discover the tools you need for a lifetime of balance and happiness, I invite you to schedule a free Discovery Session with me today!
Michelle migrated from California to New York City in 2006. She became certified as a health coach at The Institute for Integrative Nutrition in 2008, and equipped with extensive knowledge in holistic nutrition, sustainable lifestyle choices and spiritual development. Drawing on these skills and her knowledge of different dietary theories, she works with clients to help them make lifestyle changes that produce real and lasting results.
Michelle received her Yoga Teacher Certification in 2012 from Greenhouse Holistic in Brooklyn, where she was trained in Asana, Pranayama, Yoga Sadhana, Scripture, Mantra, Meditation and more. She incorporates much of the magical, philosophical tools of Yoga in her health coaching programs.
Michelle is also a Certified Reiki 2 Practitioner as of May 2014 and currently enrolled in MU, Energy Work & Psychic Reading School for Practitioners
After 8 years in NYC, Michelle found her way back to the west coast and resides in her hometown Sacramento, CA.